I came to learn no one should always tell you they feel you or they can understand what you are going through. They don't have the slightest idea of what you are going through and will never understand what you are going through until it falls on them.
In the year 2019, on June 26th, the worst news I would have ever wanted to receive came through at around midnight.
Strange things happened prior to me receiving the news, my phone just shut down and never worked again. I was offline, not to be reached. At around midnight, my then-fiance reached out to me with the news. He did not know how he could break the news to me.
I saw the reaction on his face, the restlessness and quickly guessed something was wrong at home. I quickly called my sister,just for her to tell me that Dad was gone. I did not know how to react to this, at some moment in my life I never imagined I would lose my dad to death. He was my superhero, he was my pillar, my best friend. We had this precious bond between us.
For the first 30 minutes, I was numb, and could not cry or do anything. I stayed in denial for almost a week.
What made it sink in was the one call I made to my mum, the wails she was making, at some moment I forgot about myself and got worried about her. Losing a life partner, a friend and a confidant, I could not even relate to what she was feeling at that moment.
Fear crept in and I never wanted to be alone in a room. All this time no tear ever dropped on my face, regrets crept in as I did not even tell Dad goodbye. We had not talked for two good months. What went through my mind was if he could just wake up just for a second for me to confess my love and say how sorry I was.
Soon, I started incidences of seeing him at night. I could not close my eyes for seconds without him appearing in my thoughts.
They say you can never know the value of something until you lose it, I literally came to understand this saying. Losing someone close to you is draining. I got bitter at everyone and everything. Nothing made meaning to me until I accepted fate. Those were my darkest moments.
Could you ever believe that one door closes and another one opens? Dad slept well on us. To this date I look up in the sky and feel him smiling down on me, the way blessings have fallen on my way since his departure. I can not explain it but I think that was his way of comforting me and telling me that he is watching after me and I should not worry.
Miss you Papa and happy 3rd Anniversary Till we meet again.